the silent heartbeat

When I was young, innocent, and embarrassingly naive, I would sit in disgust and judgment at the older couples who would slide into a booth nearby, look over the menus briefly, interact politely with the waitstaff, and then promptly fall into a silence so loud I’m afraid the bus boys couldn’t gossip over it. And I thought, with my chin high and my experience low, I’ll never be like that. I’ll always have interesting and profound conversation to carry with my future-husband-to-be, precisely punctuated with flirty giggles. I’ll always look at him with my chin tipped ever so gently downward and to the right, light radiating and reflecting from his incredibly engaging self (and naturally, vice versa).

Oh what I fool I was. Better yet, how unversed in the language of love. As that unversed fool, I falsely thought the duration, depth, and dynamics of a dialogue were what measured true intimacy.

Now, after nearly 12 years of marriage, I have come to realize that yes, dialogue is an integral part of love, but as equally important are the moments of silence we share together.

In these moments, true comfort is revealed.

In these moments, peace to think and reflect is welcomed.

In these moments, two people can rest in what they have already built.

In these moments, all pretenses have been dropped and authenticity is vivid and tangible.

In these moments, a secure couple can live and honor two separate but shared lives, side by side.

On a first date, or a tenth date, that silence might be the foreboding evidence of a Cupid mismatch, the fumbling and mumbling through awkward pauses, like the couple learning where to put their feet in the pattern of a dance. But after a decade of marriage, after years of both dramatic dates and uneventful glances, that silence is the sweet collective breath of two people in harmony, who know how the other dances, and move together in graceful time.

And of course, herein lies the true beauty: they dance in silence to the observer, only hearing the subtle symphony of their heartbeats.

===

Check this out for similar musings.

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17 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. edpeters06
    Feb 18, 2014 @ 20:53:45

    This might be my favorite post yet. Beautiful.

    Like

    Reply

  2. Stefani
    Feb 19, 2014 @ 08:37:10

    Love this. Reminds me of the naivety and beauty of our “husband journals.” The beauty lies in what we couldn’t have known, but what we’ve graciously found.

    Like

    Reply

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  4. Trackback: Silent hands make light work | litadoolan
  5. Trackback: Weekly Writing Challenge – The Sound of Silence – 17 FEB 2014 | Joe's Musings
  6. Hannah
    Feb 20, 2014 @ 21:20:28

    Our society trains us to need constant noise or to feel so anxious that something is wrong. My favorite thing about being with an old friend, whether romantic or not, is that you can enjoy silence together and it not be anxiety provoking.

    Like

    Reply

  7. Nonlinear Jenn
    Feb 20, 2014 @ 21:43:07

    You capture the beauty and authenticity of two people being able to share moments of silence together. It’s actually a breath of fresh air to not feel like you have to constantly perform for another person. Beautiful post!

    Like

    Reply

  8. Trackback: On the art of better living | soulfoood
  9. Trackback: Hue Of Silence | Views Splash!
  10. Trackback: The Awkward Love Song of Abigail Archer [BOOK REVIEW] | Ramisa the Authoress
  11. anon
    Feb 24, 2014 @ 00:28:17

    So true – so true!

    I love this post.

    Like

    Reply

  12. Trackback: Weekly Writing Challenge: The Sound of Silence | mariestephensgardening
  13. Trackback: Hooray! The Liebster Award | Libbi Peterson: Finding Meaning through Writing
  14. Trackback: Letters from the Silence – 20th February, 2014 | Wired With Words

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