Tomorrow I leave for Cancun.
And here’s my confession: there is no joy in that statement.
Not yet, at least.
For the past two Junes, we have traveled to the humid, beach sanctuary devoid of technology and flooded with tequila shots at the swim-up bar. It is what we need to reconnect…with God, with each other, with ourselves–and for last year and this year–with our best friends.
But I sit here, surrounded by snotty tissues, coughing my lungs up, eyes puffy from crying and nose sore from running and chest sore from hacking. Of course, the minute I am “on vacation,” my body succumbs to sickness. This is my body telling me: “you pushed too hard.”
Which, sadly, is a truth to frequent in my life. And so, I’d like to have a little conversation with my self, about what not to do again.
- Don’t be so important that you refuse to say no. Nothing is important enough to sacrifice your soul or your body.
- Stop rushing. Start being present. This moment is all you have…and will ever have.
- Don’t use yoga and running as a way to work towards a beach body while simultaneously spinning around like a chicken with your head cut off. This is counter-productive, as shown by your expanding muffin top as of late. This is also disrespectful. Pursue exercise as a chance to be healthy, not as a superficial means to an end.
- Open the door for Grief, who is always lurking to enter (more to come on this later).
- Remember that you are not God. You need God. Bow.
- Give generously to others–but also to yourself: your heart, mind, and body.
- Release the clenched grip. Allow things to fall apart. Greet your tattered, white flags with grace.
- Be vulnerable. Do not hide behind falsetto apologies.
- Staying busy will not prevent the emotions which need to be released from rubbing you raw. Staying busy will pour salt on the ever-expanding wound. Let yourself go there.
That’s it for now. Let’s hope the beach and the ocean slow me down and heal my body…as well as things unseen.