mind minefields and mantras

At a class I attended this month, the yoga instructor compared self-talk to shopping for clothes. We take a bunch of clothes into the fitting room, and the ones that fit us and serve us and make us feel good go home with us. The ones that don’t stay behind, crumpled on the floor for the unlucky and underpaid attendant to clean and restock. She asked:

Why don’t we do that with our self-talk?

We take all kinds of self-talk with us into the dressing room of our minds, and we try it on, the good and the bad, and we leave with it all, each and every time, the good and the bad.

At least I do. Especially as of late, when my mind has been demonized by negative self-talk:

I’m fat.

I’m lazy.

I’m undisciplined.

I’m overwhelmed.

I’m failing.

I can’t do this.

These thoughts do not serve me. Negative self-talk never serves us. These thoughts do not motivate me. Negative self-talk never motivates us. These thoughts do not drive me to change. Negative self-talk never results in positive change.

Instead, we become what we chant over and over and over in our minds.

25d16677e6f450d33863981f730fb7dd

Clearly, God meant for me to not miss this message. At a different yoga class on the other side of Denver, another yoga teacher brought up the power of water to shape features such as the Grand Canyon, simply by following the path of least resistance. She compared this to the negative self-talk that runs rampant in our minds, etching and carving a path for negative energy to follow and build and become. And to combat this she directed us to create a mantra–a mind tool, a desire stated as truth, in the present tense. Here are the two resonating with me lately:

I am light.

I am disciplined.

I have meditated with my mantra both on and off my mat. And it allows me to try on the negative self- talk, but then leave it behind in the dressing room, creating in my thinking a vortex of affirmation instead of deprecation. It allows my brain’s streams and canyons to shift direction, away from criticism, towards love.

I am light.

I am disciplined.

her death. her life.

Two years ago today, my Mom died. One week prior, I received a call from my sister saying she was taking her to the hospital for flu-like symptoms. In the ensuing avalanche of diagnoses that tumbled over our hearts, my Mom was swept away within 7 days. Less than 168 hours.

My Mom died as she lived. Fierce. Brave. Strong. With gumption and energy and wit and gusto and dignity and humor and sharpness. Though it absolutely devastated me and my family, my Mom died with so much life…and for that I am grateful. Nobody had to take her in. Nobody had to worry about her. Nobody had to make plans for her. Nobody had to watch as she diminished into nothing. She died as she lived: independently and vigorously. This, ultimately, is what she wanted.

Here are some pictures showing my Mom’s…life-ness:

IMG_6490

FullSizeRender (3)

IMG_6487

IMG_6488

She would kill me for posting this. But that smile…

Along with these pictures, I found this, written by my Mom between 1992-1993.

FullSizeRender (2)

Lots and lots of misses. That is now the burden I must carry.

Lots and lots of life. That is now the glory I must reflect.

Posts I Like

Meditating Millennial

A Millennial's Journey Into Meditation and Mindfulness

Nomad Notions

Tales of Expat Living, Teaching, and Tramping in Taiwan and Beyond.

Sojourners' Journal

“Each of us is here for a brief sojourn; for what purpose he knows not, though he sometimes thinks he senses it. But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people." —Albert Einstein

Middle East by Midwest

Observations and Experiences of Bahrain

Ex(pat) and the City

The life of a twenty-something Canadian living & teaching in Korea.

International Schools Review

ISR Blogs are open to site members and visitors alike. Your Voice Counts.

Teaching - Traveling - Learning

The Life of An International Teacher

Love Live Life....Abroad!

Follow me as I live, work, and travel abroad.........

pedagogyofthereformed

Teaching in Brooklyn in Spite of Everything

Actively Dying

by Fall Ranger

DoYouYoga.com

Just another WordPress.com site

zen habits

writing into meaning.

Shambhala Blog

Books for enlightened living

Tiny Buddha

writing into meaning.

YogiApproved™

writing into meaning.

The Blissful Mind

Your guide to finding contentment in the everyday

Practicing Presence

An attempt at mindfulness in life, learning, and love

Kindness Blog

Kindness Images, Videos, True Life Stories, Quotes, Personal Reflections and Meditations.

chanyado

Chanyado. Shade. Respite from the sun. A place under the tree to rest my head, and wiggle my toes out in the sun.

The Seeds 4 Life

Seeds of Inspiration, Wisdom, and Positivity

The Educationista

Life. Lessons. Inspiration.

Words Half Heard

writing into meaning.

infinite hope | the national equity project blog

Deliver on the promise of a quality education.

gadflyonthewallblog

"To sting people and whip them into a fury, all in the service of truth."

Greatfull

A snapshot of my journey to living each day with gratitude and striving to be full of greatness

Imperfect Happiness

Instructions for living a life: Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it. ~ Mary Oliver

tspelczech

"I'm too old to live my life in fear of dumb people." - Charlie Skinner, The Newsroom

Perfectly Pleased

I take little moments and write about them with great love.

Cultivate Clarity

creative writing and mindfulness-based coaching, workshops, and retreats

www.aholyexperience.com/

Just another WordPress.com site

Crawling Out of the Classroom

As I begin a year of transformation as a teacher, I am attempting to break down the four walls of my classroom to reach out to others and connect about the incredible world of education.

Trophy Kids

In Defense of the Generation

ADVENTURES ON THE YOGA MAT

writing into meaning.

Left Brain Buddha

the modern mindful life

Mom Voyage - Adventures of a Fulltime RV Mom

Just another WordPress.com site

AFFECTIVE LIVING

Teaching. Learning. Living.

Mostly True Stories of K. Renae P.

My Adventures in Teaching and Learning

synchroblog

diverse voices. monthly topics. good conversations.

Done with Religion

Written by Jim Gordon - Living with God Outside the Walls of Religion

candidkay

Taking the journey, bumps and all

jenny's lark

the beauty of an ordinary life

Nonlinear Compilations

Parenting, teaching, writing, and learning to find beauty in the present

Education Thunk

Thoughts and musings on education as it is, was and will be.

talk from chalk

What I've learned while teaching