I want to lead.
There. I said it.
Yes, of course, I want to lead by example.
But also, no, I don’t just want to lead by example. Because, if we admit it, that is really just a way to shrink my potential and soften my ambition into a palatable package.
I want to lead by title too.
Or maybe the better way to say that is I want to lead with a title. Through a title.
This is the way I was born. It is. I am a natural leader. Owning that has not always been easy. It’s still not easy. It is utterly. frightening.
I am scared because so many messages throughout my life have conditioned me to be scared. And small.
As a child, my 3rd grade report card had a note from my teacher that “I was too bossy.” Really? That’s what you want to tell my parents about? And would you say that if I was a boy?
As a teenager, I heard a wonderful woman I looked up to say she wanted “the heart of a ministry leader.” This is because she was a woman. And a woman could not be a ministry leader. Only the wife. Only the cheerleader. Only behind the scenes. Only the heart.
As a girlfriend dating in a conservative church, I was told to let my boyfriend speak first. Speak most.
As a newlywed, I was encouraged instructed to let my husband lead. Which means I must follow. The end.
Be quiet. Be submissive. Be invisible. Be supportive. Be less.
So… be not you.
Be anyone BUT you.
Therein lies the problem. I have spent my life not being me in order to be accepted. By men. By church. By society. By god.
And I’m tired of it.
And… it hasn’t even worked?! I always end up in leadership “actions” or “positions” wherever. I. work. Every. single. school. Every. single. time.
Soooooo… hello world, I am coming out. I am stepping into the light. I am arriving. I am living my truth. I am meing.
I want to take care of staff and students. I want a leadership role that focuses on this.
In pursuit of this, I am currently taking leadership courses at the Principals’ Training Center.
And even after a traumatic, pandemic year, every moment of learning in these intensive courses is confirming who I have always been.
Who. I. am.
A leader.